Reasons
by Mason14
Summary: My take on the reason arizona doesn't want kids.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is my first multi-chaptered story so please be gentle and review **

I rolled over to check what time it was. 3am. Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I thought about the reason that led to me being alone and awake in my bed a 3o'clock in the morning.

"_I wanna have a baby" I said much more calmly than I actually felt "and I-and I cant talk about lotion or pound cake or anything else….cause I wanna have a baby and you don't" I continued and she lifted her head and her eyes met mine "so….we're gonna talk about it " to which I replied "yeah…we are gonna talk about it" and I accentuated each word carefully to try to get her to see how serious I was about this and we sat there for a while just staring at each other as both of us tried to figure out a way a to start this conversation. I've heard all my life that relationships were about compromise…..well how does anyone compromise in this situation. "I cant have kids Calliope" and as soon as the words left her mouth I scoffed "can't or won't" and I knew the answer just by looking at her, I knew that it was the latter "so this is it huh?" I asked my voice breaking slightly and she looked as if I just shattered her world with those five words but she stood up and her tone matched mine said "I guess so" and with that she left my apartment. I just sat on the bed as she left, feeling like with every step she took different pieces of my heart with her, the heart that she put back together after Erica left and I knew that I wouldn't going to be able to be fixed this time because the only person who could do that just walked out the door and as much as I hurt to say this, I didn't think she was coming back. It had been around half an hour since _she_ left -for some reason I couldn't bring myself to say her name, it was as if saying her name would somehow make this whole thing more real- when I felt something wet hit my arm and it was then that I realized that I'd been crying and it briefly crossed my mind as to how long It'd been since I'd started crying, but only briefly as it returned to the forefront of my mind why I was crying in the first place and I felt a fresh batch of tears sting my eyes and I just curled up and allow the pain to wash over me._

I woke up the next morning and went to the bathroom to get ready for work, I saw myself in the mirror and thought to myself '_I look like shit_' but I didn't care, what was the point of dressing up, I mean looking pretty hadn't exactly stopped all my other relationships from crashing and burning so I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair into a messy ponytail and threw on the first thing I found and went to the hospital.

It was lunch time and I was proud of myself, I was doing a good job so far avoiding her and with those thoughts in my head I went into the cafeteria and I immediately regretted it. _She _was in there talking happily with Dr. Altman. So happily in fact that if I wasn't a part of it I would never have known that she and her girlfriend broke up the night before. But here she was seeming unaffected and smiling and still looked as gorgeous as ever while I looked horrible and puffy-eyed from my night of crying. So before she saw me, I hurriedly left the cafeteria and practically ran to the first empty on-call room I could find and curled up on the miniscule bed and cried my eyes out. And that was how mark found me two hours later as he busted into the room asking "hey have you seen Torres……….." his voice trailed off as he took sight of my appearance, and being my best friend he knew better than to say anything, so he simply climbed in beside me and wrapped his arms around my fragile body as I continued to cry.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Here's the second chapter pleases review I want to know what my readers think of it and I want to thank luvlexi714 for reviewing both stories. This chapter is dedicated to you since you're the one that reviewed my first story and the fist chapter to this one and let me know that my stories don't totally suck.**

It was around ten thirty that same day that I walked into Joe's. After spending most of the day crying in mark's arms I thought a drink would help, but of course _she_ had to be there. As soon as I walked through the door my eyes landed on her but just as she was before we started dating after she kissed me in the bathroom she was not alone. She was turned on her stool at the bar facing a brunette who I grudgingly admitted was drop dead gorgeous and I envied her, the position she was in, the privilege of sitting and talking to Arizona without the complications that came with a relationship.

I stood there staring at the duo for another second or two before I went to sit at a booth at the back of the bar, because as much as it felt like a punch to the gut every second I sat there looking at them I couldn't bring myself to look away. My logic might be messed up but I'd rather sit here knowing what they're up to than to go home and have my imagination run wild. But I regretted it the instant I saw the brunette put her hands on Arizona's thigh and leaned forward and whisper something in her ear, I regretted it even more when I saw Arizona smile and grab her hand leading her out of the bar completely unaware of my presence and I felt my heart shatter into tiny pieces. I walked to the bar taking one of the seats they evacuated and called to Joe "I need something strong" and he nodded before getting out a bottle of tequila and pouring me a shot. He placed it in front of me and was about to walk away before I reached over the counter and grabbed the hem of his shirt I quickly downed the shot and said to him "you better leave the bottle" and he looked at me questioningly before I added "I'm not driving Joe" and he flashed me the same look as he did before but he left the bottle anyway and I poured myself another shot and again downed it in one gulp. I winced as the hot liquid

burned its way down my throat and I smiled bitterly it was doing its job, numbing the pain. So I continued shot after shot. I don't know when but I was vaguely aware of Mark coming to get me and taking me home. When we got back to my apartment he changed me and set me on the bed, and as I was drifting off to sleep I felt him brush back a strand of hair from my face and whisper "don't do this to yourself Torres" but I was too far gone in sleep to answer him and even if I wasn't I wasn't sure if I would've answered.

As soon as my eyes opened I regretted it, I squinted against the bright glare of room and I felt a massive pounding in my head. As if answering to my prayers mark strolled in

"Good morning miss sunshine" he said exuberantly and I winced

"Keep it down" I hissed, and he looked at me concern etched on his face

He handed me the pills and the glass of water I just realized was in his hand "here, these should help"

"Thanks" I said as gratefully as I downed them and he lay down on the bed beside me and pulled me into his arms

"What's going on with you Torres?" and I sighed

"It's a long story" and when I said that he turned to face me

"well then it's a good thing we both have the morning off" and I filled him in on the event's from two nights ago to present but oddly enough I didn't cry this time, I just felt………numb and after all that I've been going through recently it was a very welcomed feeling because at this point I would do anything to just. Not feel.

I walked into the hospital that afternoon with the same numbness as I had felt earlier that morning but with a new resolve, if Arizona could get on with her life why couldn't I, if she was going on dates why couldn't I. So I strolled into Seattle grace mercy west hospital with my head held high. I was wearing make-up and my hair was neatly done and I don't mean to toot my own horn but I looked hot.

And it was with that attitude that I got a date with a gorgeous redhead named Nadia that I met in the clinic later that night at eight o'clock. Another reason my day was going well, I had managed to avoid seeing Arizona for the entire day. So all in all I thought as I showered to get ready for my date later today was a good day and I got out of the shower to get ready.

I knocked on the door precisely at eight o'clock and about a minute later the door was opened and my jaw dropped at the sight of my date. Saying she looked amazing was and understatement.

"Hey! Come on in, I just have to get my shoes and we can get going" and I stepped inside her apartment and sat on the couch and waited for her.

When she came back I finally got to study how she looked

Boldly I stood up and took a couple steps so that I was standing right in front of her. I put my hands on her waist and leaned close to her ears and whispered "baby with the way you're looking right now I'm thinking we should skip dinner and go straight to dessert" and as if to make my intentions clearer I grazed her earlobe with my tongue and I pulled back to see her usually gray eyes darken with desire. I crashed my lips onto hers and I felt her respond by deepening the kiss and grinding our hips together

In the back of my mind I couldn't help but think how wrong this felt I couldn't help but think back to her green eyes and how they darkened and think how much more beautiful Arizona's blue ones were and I had another memory, one of last night.

"_Don't do this to yourself Torres" _I heard mark's voice in my head and that's when I made up my mind.

I separated our lips and peeled Nadia's top off.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: So this is the third chapter. I know some of you are wondering what's up with the way Arizona's acting so hope fully this explains it as this entire chapter is in Arizona's Pov**

It's was the morning after Calliope and I broke up and I looked in the mirror to see my eyes were red from crying all night. I had to get ready to go to work and as much as I did not care about how I looked right now I knew the gossip mill of Seattle Grace Mercy West would, so I took a long shower and after I got out, used a lot of makeup to conceal my puffy face.

When I arrived at the hospital I saw teddy and she immediately came over to tell me about her escapades with mark. And by the time lunch came my face ached from all the fake happiness I was exuding but I endured it and acted as if it was any other day. _I should be getting an Oscar for this performance_ I thought bitterly.

As I was on my way to go home I heard someone at the nurses station ask for me and I walked up to them and tapped the brunette on the shoulder and she turned to look at me and as soon as she turned to face me I broke out into the first genuine smile of the day

"Julie?!" I exclaimed pulling her into a bear hug and she stepped back smiling at me

"Zona! How have you been?" and I looked at her still unable to get over the shock of her being here

"Good I guess but what are you doing here" I asked her

"I'm in town on business and I thought I can't come to Seattle and not see my best friend"

And I grabbed her and "let's go get a drink we have lots to catch up on" and with that we left the hospital and headed to Joe's

I sat on a stool at Joe's bar while I listened to Julie tell me about what she's been up the past few years and my mind drifted to calliope. I wondered what she was doing right now.

I must have been out of it for a while because I was snapped back into reality by Julie snapping her fingers in front of me and calling my name "huh?" I answered and she smiled

"I hope it's not my company that caused you to space out" and I looked at her apologetically

"No it's not," I hurriedly tried to cover "I just have a lot on my mind that's all" I said and she gave me the look that she always used to give me when she expected me to me to go into details

"We can sit here while I force you to tell me, which you will. Or you can tell me on your own but either way you're going to tell me" and she shrugged at the end of that statement

I sighed and began to tell her everything "I had a girlfriend, her name's Calliope and she's great-"

I was cut off as Julie interrupted me "Okay so you have a girlfriend who in your own words is great. Maybe it's just me but I'm not really sensing the problem here zona" and I just raised the glass of scotch I was nursing and brought it to my mouth as I swallowed a large portion of it and continued with the story of my life

"you're not listening. I _had_ a girlfriend. We broke up yesterday" and she looked at me expectantly and I brought the scotch up to my lips once more and finished the remainder of the liquid before I said "She wanted kids" and I didn't need to continue because she already knew the rest and she grabbed my hand that was resting in my lap and held on to it "you didn't tell her did you?" and even though she asked she already knew the answer, she was my best friend for an reason and I bit my lip as tears pooled in my eyes.

"What am I gonna do Jules?" I said reverting back to my old nickname for her and she looked back at me "Oh Zona," she said sympathetically and leaned towards me, as she did I saw a spark of an idea in her eyes. We've always been best friends so I know her well enough to know her expression when she has an idea "We are going to go to the supermarket and get some junk food and then we are going back to your place and we are having a sleepover just like we used to" and I felt my face burst into a huge smile as I recalled our childhood sleepovers because a Jules and Zona sleepover always included Jules' special super secret ice cream sundaes.

I am not joking that girl makes the best sundaes ever and even though we've been best friends forever she refuses to tell me her secret.

So we paid the bill and left Joe's hand in hand

Later that night after all the sundaes and movies were over I laid in bed with Jules beside me

"You have got to tell her Zona" I heard her say

"_I cant_" I told her and she rolled over to face me "why the hell not? You love her don't you?"

And I scoffed "of course I do!"

"Then you need to tell her or else you're going to lose her and she deserves to know" and she turned her back to me leaving me to my thoughts

The next day I was in the clinic looking for Calliope. I had said bye to Jules earlier that morning and somewhere in that conversation I decided that I was going to tell calliope the truth.

I was about to enter one of the exam rooms to check if she was in there when I heard her voice

"_so what are you doing later?" _ I heard her ask

"_You tell me?" _ a woman replied flirtatiously

"_well I was thinking about dinner and if you're real nice……..dessert"_

As soon as I heard her reply I walked off feeling as if someone was carving my heart from my chest with a spoon.

**So what do you think. Any thoughts as what Arizona wanted to tell Callie. Review and tell me what you think**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 Yay! OMFG what the hell is wrong with the writers of GA how could they break up Calzona I can't believe it first it was mark and Lexie, now this, so I wont I'll pretend as if they didn't do that. I know that there have been speculation as to what Arizona has to tell callie and your guesses were good some of them were spot on but I didn't want to be predictable so I changed it up a bit, which you will see in future chapters . Also I know it's been a while since I've updated but school has been so stressful especially with exams coming up and not just internal but external as well. I have cxc's to do and for those in the Caribbean you understand what I'm talking about and for those of you who don't well cxc's (Caribbean examination council) are the equivalent of SAT'S but you can do them at any age once your in high school plus I have regular monthly exams for about nineteen subjects and might I remind you that I'm only 14, so if you wanted an explanation that was it but I will try to manage my time better so I can update soon. So thank you listening to me rant and without further ado here is chapter four………Enjoy.**

Callie's Pov

My lips were still connected to Nadia's as we made our way to her bedroom while I skillfully maneuvered her pants off ……don't ask. By the time we arrived to her bedroom I was the only one still wearing clothes with the exception of her bra and underwear and I stilled my lips on hers as she tried to remove my top

"Wait, Stop I can't do this" I said to her but all she did was smile in manner I could tell was trying to be sexy

"au contraire," she said while running her hands along the crotch of my pants "I believe you can" and her smile turned into a smirk as she thought she had changed my mind and she reached up to kiss me but I turned my head away and her lips caught my cheek

I grabbed her wrists while looking into her eyes and asked rhetorically "do you even know the meaning of the word no?" and she yanked her hands away from me "what the hell is your problem? One minute you're all over me and the next you're being all aggressive" and my eyes softened

"I'm sorry, it isn't you, there's someone else…..we're not together anymore but we just broke up and I don't wanna taint the history of our relationship by having meaningless one night stands so soon after we broke up, _even if she doesn't have a problem with it_" I mumbled the last part so I was the only one who heard it.

A few minutes later I was standing with Nadia at the doorway to her apartment "I'm really sorry about tonight, I know this isn't exactly what you planned on happening" and she laughed softly

"You don't have anything to be sorry for Callie. Ok so this evening didn't turn out the way we planned but I think it was sweet what you did. You're an amazing woman Dr Torres and if your ex girlfriend doesn't realize how lucky she was to have you, well it's her loss"

And I looked directly into her eyes and said "I was the lucky one but thanks for the compliment" and with that I gave her one last smile and then turned and made my way to the elevator in the building.

When I reached the car I got in and switched the engine on and drove away from Nadia's apartment I decided to take the long way home. About five minutes into the drive I turned the radio on. _This one's for all of you out there who've found that special someone_ I heard the radio announcer say and the song started

_When the vision's around you, bring tears to your eyes_

_And all that surrounds you are secrets and lies_

_I'll be your strength, I'll give you hope, keeping your faith that is gone _

_The one you should call, was standing there all along_

And I flicked the radio changing the station

_If I lay here_

_If I just lay here _

_Would you lie with me and just forget the world_

Flick

_The dawn is breaking, a light shining through_

_You're barely waking and I'm tangled up in you _

Flick

_When I met you girl my heart went knock knock_

_Now them butterflies in my stomach won't stop stop_

I just got upset and finally turned it off and I came to a conclusion. I need to take a step back from Arizona. I let people I care about break me, first it was George then Erica. I mean I used to be this badass ortho chick and now look at me. Well it's time to break that cycle, if Arizona cares about me as much as she said she does it's time for _her _to step up and prove it to me and if she doesn't, well I'll survive. It's time for Callie Torres to make a comeback.

Instead of going straight home I turned into the parking lot of a supermarket and went inside. I went to the pasta aisle and got fettuccini and then went around the rest of the supermarket getting all the ingredients for shrimp fettuccini I mentally walked through the list of things I needed in my head and after a minute of thought I realized a very important addition to the meal which I almost forgot.

As I walked through the aisle looking I finally spotted it, a bottle of chardonnay, white of course. I don't know about others but I have always preferred white wine to red, it's just better on so many different levels. After getting my groceries I left the supermarket with one train of thought and that was to have a nice relaxing night with my food and my choice for alcoholic beverage and lastly a nice long hot bath.

I pulled into the parking lot of my apartment building and got out with my groceries and headed up to my apartment. As I stepped out of the elevator I immediately saw a woman with her knees pulled up to her face but I could still see her short curly blonde hair and all of a sudden my heart was in my throat and when I stood before her and cleared my throat I was met with a pair of familiar blue eyes.

**So that was chapter 4, please review I really want an opinion from all my readers to tell me what they think and also offer constructive criticism if they have any. The songs in this chapter are this I promise you by N'Sync, Chasing Cars by Snow patrol, You and I Collide by Howie Day and One time by Justin Bieber (I have Bieber fever!) Also if I get 5+ reviews on this chapter in the next two days I will update the story within the week. Btw who do you think is at Callie's door?**


	5. Chapter 5

**I updated to celebrate the reunion of Calzona on GA….YAY! Finally the writers have regained their senses just a little bit.**

I stood in front of the blonde and blinked a few times before she extended her hand "I know this is weird considering the circumstances but I'm Emily Robbins, Arizona's sister. I was hoping we could talk" and without saying anything to her I opened the door using my key, stepped inside and then turned to her sweeping one hand indicating to her she should come in. After putting my grocery bag on the counter, I unpacked and started dinner. Now I know that this was rude but I was mentally trying to figure out what she could possibly want from me and how I was going to react.

I grabbed two glasses and a bottle of wine after starting dinner and set them down on the coffee table in front of the couch she was sitting on and sat next to her. "Obviously you already know who I am so I won't waste time with introductions and get straight to the point. Not to be rude but what are you doing here" and I handed her a glass and mistakenly looking into her ocean blue eyes that reminded me so much of Arizona's.

She sat there silently for a while as if contemplating how to phrase her reply and after several failed attempts she finally spoke "I live about three hours away and I was at home when I got a call from Jules telling me that you and Ari broke up-" and I cut her off when she said that

"And Jules is…?" and she sighed exasperatedly when I asked "Jules aka Julie has been mine and Ari's best friend since forever, she came into town a few days ago for work and then went to see Ari yesterday before she left this morning" and then it dawned on me, the girl Arizona was with was just her best friend not a date and I could tell that I got this stupid grin the size of Alaska on my face "I'm gonna ignore that stupid look on your face and get to the point of this whole conversation. I know why you and Ari broke up, you want kids and she doesn't, but she didn't tell you everything. There's a lot of stuff that happened, life changing stuff that she hasn't told you and you have to _make_ her tell you, by whatever means necessary."

When she said that I started wondering what the hell she was going on about but I couldn't do it "look I get that you're trying to look out for your sister but I can't do it. During the entire period of mine and Arizona's relationship I was the one fighting for us, hell I even gave up my family for us, for our relationship trying to show her that she was everything to me, But now I'm tired, it's her time to get in the ring." And at that point the timer for dinner went off and I excused myself to go turn the stove off but she just followed me into the kitchen.

"And I understand what you're saying, I do, but you love her so I'm begging you to make her get into the ring with you. You make her happy Callie, when you were together that's the happiest she's ever been. So I'll compromise, if you get her to tell you the real reason she doesn't want kids and you still can't make it work you'll never have to hear from me again" and she looked at me with those puppy eyes that Arizona always pulls to get her way and I could not say no" and I handed her a plate of food that I was sharing while she was speaking.

"Fine but only if you tell me some stories about when Ari was younger" and that's how we spent the night, talking and laughing and when it was time for bed I let her crash on the couch.

The next day I got up early (shocking right) and took Emily to the Airport but not before getting a few pictures with her. It was about ten minutes to twelve when I just finished getting ready and I was to be at the hospital at noon so I got my keys and locked the door then I headed out.

I was updating my charts at the nurses' station when I spotted Arizona looking at me and when our eyes met instead of masking the lust there like I usually do since we broke up I let her see, I wanted her to know what she still did to me and she blushed and averted her eyes before walking off and I smirked as I handed my chart to a nurse and quickly caught up with her. I guided her to the nearest on call room and locked the door and right as she was about to say something my lips were on hers and after about a minute of resisting she gave in and deepened the kiss and she moaned as I removed my lips and attached them to her neck and used my hands to kneed her breasts then remove her scrub top and continued to fondle her boobs when I heard her groan as my pager went off and once again a smirk made it's way on my face. I moved my lips up to her ear and whispered "Don't worry baby, we'll finish this some other time and that's a promise" I gave her one last earth shattering kiss before untangling myself from her and leaving the on call room to answer my page.

Arizona's Pov

After Calliope left the on call room I finally regained my senses and began berating myself._ What the hell were you thinking, what the hell was she thinking this is only going to end making this harder for both of us._ And I decided to take a page from Calliope's book and avoid her at all costs. After successfully avoiding her for practically the entire day I was sitting in the cafeteria with Mark, Teddy, and Owen when Calliope joined us. She sat in the middle of Mark and I and turned her head to wink at so discreetly I was unsure if she actually did it or if I was imagining it but then I started to feel her foot gently rubbing against mine so erotically I was sure I was about to wet myself any minute now and if that wasn't enough one of her hands started tracing patterns on the inside of my thigh. I was brought out of m y thoughts by Calliope involving me in the conversation I was not paying attention to and she knew exactly what she was doing "That's so amazing right Arizona?" and I saw a smirk playing on her lips which I'm sure no one else noticed and I mentally groaned as she began rubbing my thighs even more erotically but with all the strength I had left I stuttered out a reply "oh yeah- so amazing" but when it came out it sounded extremely breathless.

"Are you ok Arizona" Calliope asked but I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who saw the mischievous glint in her eyes " yea I'm fine…..i just need to go…check on a patient, yup check on a patient"

"I'll come with there's something we need to finish" and I heard the double meaning in her words and without saying anything else we both got up and walked off together.

I pulled her in the first on door I could find and apparently it opened to the stairs "wow this is where you want to do it, I mean it's unexpected but I don't have a problem" and with that said she looped her5 arms around my waist and pulled me close and I immediately took a step back out of her personal space and whispered "what the hell is wrong with you, maybe you've forgotten but we broke up and that normally entails the we stop all sexually related activities" and she pulled me back into my original position that she had me in first and leaned to whisper in a low husky voice "do you really want me to stop?" and she extended her tongue to gently massage my earlobe. And against my will a moan that I thought was stuck in my throat made it's way up and escaped my lips and I felt her mouth curve into smile against my ears and she claimed my mouth in a victorious kiss but instead of hesitating as I did the last time I immediately responded lacing my fingers through her hair and pulling her as close to me as possible and we only pulled away when air became a necessity.

"we can't do this, it's only going to make things harder for both of us" I said to her but even as I was saying it I was disregarding my own statement by moving closer towards her and as soon as I was finished talking our lips met again only this time I was the one to initiate it but all too soon was it ended by the sound of a beeping pager, this time it was mine and I pulled back without a word and was about to leave when she grabbed me

"I know there's something you're keeping from me and I'm gonna make you tell me, cause **I love you** Arizona more than words can say and if that means I have to get back in the ring and fight for us again I will but fair warning, I won't play fair. I'm gonna get as dirty as I have to" and as soon as she left I ran from the room leaving her standing there.


End file.
